How much do panhandlers really make? Can you possibly make a living at this? How much of a difference does a funny sign make? Will people give to a guy in a banana suit? Does every sign have to say "God Bless?" Important questions. I aim to find the answers. Give me a dollar. God Bless.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Panhandle Haiku

I'm thinking of going out with some Haiku signs. If I remember correctly it's three syllables, five syllables, three syllables or five, seven, five.Here's some I'm considering:

3-5-3
Off ramp, hot
Give me your money
Thanks God Bless

I am broke
Thirsty for green tea
Spare a buck

Get a job?
Work at McDonalds?
This pays more.

5-7-5
Will work for food if
Vegan, organic, kosher
Better make it cash

Please post your own panhandle haiku, and maybe spare a couple of bucks. It's freakin' hot. I want to buy an iced soy cappucino to blend with some carob powder. Yum.

10 Comments:

Blogger raven said...

omg, is this fer real...lol... anyway good luck in whatever it is you hope to acomplish, i panhandled (spanged) fer a few yrs as a homeless teen an well i found that the more ridiculous yer sign is or yer words the more willing ppl are to hand over there money..

1:10 PM

 
Anonymous dusty marimba said...

I'm not really blind
But people give more money
If they think I am

Amen.

1:40 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, this is hard work
The Lexus payment is due
Give a buck, God bless

4:18 PM

 
Blogger Mad Guru said...

If not for your help
I will have to resort to
Scientology

My other sign is
a Shakespearean sonnet
printed on plastic

Need money so my
Nigerian bank account
funds can be released

This sign will soon be
sold on eBay by legend
Rob Cockerham. Pule.

6:22 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a banana
Give me some freakin' money
You know you want to

10:12 AM

 
Anonymous Not anonymous anymore said...

It's five seven five btw

I swear I'm not drunk,
But I need some money for...
Special woolen socks.

1:24 PM

 
Blogger thepanhandler said...

Such great Haiku all round.
And I'm pretty sure that 3-5-3 and 5-7-5 both work, but perhaps one is haiku and the other laiku or some other such red hot asian action.

1:34 PM

 
Blogger Deron said...

"May I have some change?"
asked Eshun. Said the master,
"Change comes from within."


Roadside panhandler
Anti-roadside panhandler
Annihilation

(With deepest apologies to hippopotami everywhere.)

11:22 PM

 
Anonymous sarah said...

5-7-5

I can read your mind:
"Don't make eye contact with him
and he'll go away."

I read the future:
Driver gives bum a dollar
and has a great day.

Imagine your life
without your Ipod-- scary.
Pay the bum. God Bless.

-- hey! this panhandling project is really great, keep up the good.. er, work :) I am an artist and I love making costumes-- if you have a crazy idea for a panhandling costume maybe I can help you make some of it. :)
love,
sarah

2:03 PM

 
Blogger thepanhandler said...

Thanks for all the haiku, and Sara, thanks for the offer. I may take you up on it. For now, I have my next costume already. I borrowed a mummy costume from a friend and I'll be using it as soon as it stops being 108 DEGREES OUT! ! ! Not that the banana suit is that much cooler, but at least it's sleaveless.
If you have any good costume ideas be sure to let me know.

4:18 PM

 

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