How much do panhandlers really make? Can you possibly make a living at this? How much of a difference does a funny sign make? Will people give to a guy in a banana suit? Does every sign have to say "God Bless?" Important questions. I aim to find the answers. Give me a dollar. God Bless.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Panhandle Haiku

I'm thinking of going out with some Haiku signs. If I remember correctly it's three syllables, five syllables, three syllables or five, seven, five.Here's some I'm considering:

Off ramp, hot
Give me your money
Thanks God Bless

I am broke
Thirsty for green tea
Spare a buck

Get a job?
Work at McDonalds?
This pays more.

Will work for food if
Vegan, organic, kosher
Better make it cash

Please post your own panhandle haiku, and maybe spare a couple of bucks. It's freakin' hot. I want to buy an iced soy cappucino to blend with some carob powder. Yum.


Blogger raven said...

omg, is this fer anyway good luck in whatever it is you hope to acomplish, i panhandled (spanged) fer a few yrs as a homeless teen an well i found that the more ridiculous yer sign is or yer words the more willing ppl are to hand over there money..

1:10 PM

Anonymous dusty marimba said...

I'm not really blind
But people give more money
If they think I am


1:40 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, this is hard work
The Lexus payment is due
Give a buck, God bless

4:18 PM

Blogger Mad Guru said...

If not for your help
I will have to resort to

My other sign is
a Shakespearean sonnet
printed on plastic

Need money so my
Nigerian bank account
funds can be released

This sign will soon be
sold on eBay by legend
Rob Cockerham. Pule.

6:22 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a banana
Give me some freakin' money
You know you want to

10:12 AM

Anonymous Not anonymous anymore said...

It's five seven five btw

I swear I'm not drunk,
But I need some money for...
Special woolen socks.

1:24 PM

Blogger thepanhandler said...

Such great Haiku all round.
And I'm pretty sure that 3-5-3 and 5-7-5 both work, but perhaps one is haiku and the other laiku or some other such red hot asian action.

1:34 PM

Blogger Deron said...

"May I have some change?"
asked Eshun. Said the master,
"Change comes from within."

Roadside panhandler
Anti-roadside panhandler

(With deepest apologies to hippopotami everywhere.)

11:22 PM

Anonymous sarah said...


I can read your mind:
"Don't make eye contact with him
and he'll go away."

I read the future:
Driver gives bum a dollar
and has a great day.

Imagine your life
without your Ipod-- scary.
Pay the bum. God Bless.

-- hey! this panhandling project is really great, keep up the good.. er, work :) I am an artist and I love making costumes-- if you have a crazy idea for a panhandling costume maybe I can help you make some of it. :)

2:03 PM

Blogger thepanhandler said...

Thanks for all the haiku, and Sara, thanks for the offer. I may take you up on it. For now, I have my next costume already. I borrowed a mummy costume from a friend and I'll be using it as soon as it stops being 108 DEGREES OUT! ! ! Not that the banana suit is that much cooler, but at least it's sleaveless.
If you have any good costume ideas be sure to let me know.

4:18 PM


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