How much do panhandlers really make? Can you possibly make a living at this? How much of a difference does a funny sign make? Will people give to a guy in a banana suit? Does every sign have to say "God Bless?" Important questions. I aim to find the answers. Give me a dollar. God Bless.

Monday, August 01, 2005


Damn! Are there a-lot of teases out there or what. Folks look at me and then reach into their pockets, but they just pull out their cell phone. They don't call anyone, they just pull it out, like suddenly it needed to be free. Or they pull out a pen. What? Did they think they were gonna write a quick poem? One woman, I swear to god, pulled out two bucks, which she then played with! Just fiddled it around. And do you think people would be reluctant to slurp their big gulps when I'm standing their, outside, no airconditioning, sweating. Nope. They look right at me and draw deep, long sips of sweet, sweet, soda. Maybe these are things people do at red lights anyway, but I swear it's eye contact with me that the triggers these behaviors. "Oh, the cardboard sign guy looked at me, better take a big huge bite of this hamburger." Maybe it's like trying not to touch your face. Try not to and all of a sudden you need to touch you face, even if you don't normally touch your face at all. So, they see me looking at them, and they're like, "Oh, crap, I made eye contact! Okay, don't do anything that'll make him think I might give him money. I'll just reach into my pocket for a pen." Quit Teasin' People.
Now for real, your eyes been all over this blog post, and you keep mousing over the donate button, teasin' me. Click it. Come on now, CLICK IT! Give me two dollars! If you aint gonna click it, at least click on one of my ads. Damn! But really. You should just click it. Tease.


Blogger Simon said...

I'm hovering with my cursor over your donate button without clicking!

3:15 AM

Blogger Phelpsy said...

Thats just mean simon, but who am I to say anything... It appears as if I am doing the same thing

9:15 AM

Blogger Wonko said...


Why is it that your asking for two bucks instead of one now? Getting greedy, maybe?

11:31 AM

Blogger thepanhandler said...

I already got one dollar. Now I need two. I'm hoping to get the whole collection! Give now, before it gets to three. You can get in early, on the ground floor, it's a wise investment.
Also, I've become addicted to Hummus and am spending all my money on sweet, sweet garbonzo bean dip of the highest quality!

12:19 PM


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