How much do panhandlers really make? Can you possibly make a living at this? How much of a difference does a funny sign make? Will people give to a guy in a banana suit? Does every sign have to say "God Bless?" Important questions. I aim to find the answers. Give me a dollar. God Bless.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Panhandling in a business suit

So here it is, the business suit panhandling adventure you've all been waiting for. Lot's of laughs but I'm proud of my town, they only gave me one lousy quarter. One hour of Pan Handling and all business suit guy gets is a quarter.

I had a good time. I yelled into my cell phone a-lot. Things like;

"No John, dammit. Don't sell. Just wait it out, things are turning around. These hurricanes were a god send. Once the rebuilding starts we'll make a killing."

"Yeah, Chuck? Joe here, listen, I'm out on a scouting mission, drumming up some capitol, meeting with some clients. Did any checks come through?"

My favorite was when A guy actually stopped and rolled down his winndow to talk to me and maybe give me money. I interrupted him to get a cell phone call. "I'm sorry, I gotta take this. Yeah Bob, go ahead. No, I'm cool, I can talk."

I cleaned my nails a-lot. I drank a cappucino. I shined up my shoes.

I don't have a photo of my favorite sign, but I'll get a still from the video shoot and get it up here soon. It read "Need Gas For Suv (H-4 Totally Boss) Please Help! God Bless." Its the H-4 Totally Boss part that I like the best.

The other fun thing was judging people by their cars as I talked on the cell phone. "No man, crap day. Nothing but Toyotas and Hondas. I guess I'm not in a BMW, or Hummer neighborhood. Yeah I was thinking of heading over to The Pavillions or maybe up to Shingle Springs for awhile. Oh, wait, here comes a Cadillac, oh never mind, just a valet parking guy taking a joy ride."

I don't know what you drive, but I could use a couple of bucks towards dry cleaning. Help me out with a little start up capitol? The donate buttons are right over there on the right.

7 Comments:

Anonymous English Robert said...

Wear red suspenders in case you need to take your jacket off, a bow tie is a winner with the ladies.

4:21 AM

 
Blogger thepanhandler said...

How do you know I wasn't wearing red suspenders under there? Under where? Yup, red underwear too?

Don't they call suspenders braces over there in Merry Old England?

I'll look into that bow tie right away. Obviously I was doing something wrong.

8:45 AM

 
Blogger Phelpsy said...

Another great story to read while at work. I'm glad you added the link for me to the other story.

I cant wait to see the mime

6:52 AM

 
Blogger Sue Clark said...

Hi, your website is creative and different.

I have a website exposing the harm done by electroshock therapy (ECT)
at the URL: www.geocities.com/sueclark2001ca/

The FDA in the USA issued an alert on electroshock stating that ECT may cause brain damage and permanent memory loss.

Other ECT websites are:

www.ect.org
www.breggin.com
www.wildestcolts.com
www.antipsychiatry.com
www.stopshrinks.com

4:54 AM

 
Anonymous English Robert said...

Suspenders are braces, garter belts are suspenders when you're talking to your limey friends. It can be an embarassing mistake to make. Sign idea "American needs $'s for foreskin implant."

11:14 AM

 
Blogger thepanhandler said...

HA HA! Yes. Becuase they still cut us over here, the butchers!

11:47 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, that "panhandling in a suit and tie" gave me the best laugh I've had in a while.

You need a gimmick, though, to get some discussion going - maybe offer to sell your Brooks Brothers wingtips (or the Italian loafers or whatever fancy shoes you're wearing). Hold them up - socks, too - and see what happens.

They should look good after you kept shining them, and the spectacle of a barefoot executive in a suit offering the shoes off his feet should make people feel sorry for you.

Good luck.

3:59 PM

 

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