How much do panhandlers really make? Can you possibly make a living at this? How much of a difference does a funny sign make? Will people give to a guy in a banana suit? Does every sign have to say "God Bless?" Important questions. I aim to find the answers. Give me a dollar. God Bless.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Panhandling with Ad

The winner of my auction offering ad space on my sign was fnaprime. He won the right to advertise his website Now, I'll admit I wasn't too stoked about this kind of site winning. I was hoping for some cool small business, a record store or something, or maybe a really cool website. But I gotta tell you since visiting this guy's site I smell better, I run faster, and I have sex with greater frequency and enthusiasm! My credit still sucks but he paid me 70 bucks to put his ad on my sign, so I'd say he can improve your financial situation. Just ask him to give you $70.00. It worked for me.
I went out with his sign today. People were very confused and didn't know if I wanted their money or if I wanted them to sell herbal life or look at model homes or what. fnaprime made the sign very wordy, against my advice, but hey the customer is always right, yes? To be fair I'll reprint the text here:

"Got Bad Credit?"
Now you can laugh at bad credit.
Learn how to Borrow up to $20,000 on signature!

Click Here!

He specifically requested the "Click Here" be on the sign with the yellow highlighting. The dollar bill on the sign, that was his idea too.

The folks coming off the freeway may have been confused, but they knew one thing, I was not a happy panhandler today. I felt like looking miserable. I thought it might help. I made $72.35 cents. $70 from the auction, and $2.35 standing out there with the sign. One of the worst panhandling days I've had as far as income on the offramp and the best day regarding income over all. Of course it was a bad day on the ramp. Who wants to give me a dollar when they can see I've got dollars enought to go taping them on signs.
See the orginal auction here.

I went home, changed and went back in a suit and tie. Look for those photos and the story Wednesday or somewhere there abouts.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Power Point Panhandler

Jason sent this great graphic to illustrate a suggestion that is similar to but also the opposite of the business suit idea. Great idea. I just may use it. It would have to be at night though if I planned tot project it, but I could make charts on poster board and use a tripod. Hmmmm?
Be back from Seattle with pics and panhandling tales soon.

Monday, September 12, 2005

New Posts Next Week

Sorry so quiet. Getting ready to do the "Your Ad Here" ad, and the mime, waiting for pics from the craziest day we've had yet, almost got beat up, full story up soon. I'm heading to Seattle this weekened will panhandle there. Seattle is one of the spare change capitols of the continent. Please check back next week. In the meanwhile, you can enjoy lots of new posts at And hey, a couple of bucks might speed things up a bit too. God Bless.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Metafilter Loves Me linked me giving me well over 3,000 visits, but those MeFi creeps don't hardly click on my ads at all! Most enjoyed my site, but some were offended. Click to see the debate, including my responses.
Now give me two dollars so I can spend it on making fun of the poor. God bless.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Panhandling Mime

What would a panhandling mime look like? I'm thinking a sign with nothing written on it. Or would it be better to have no sign, and just mime that I'm holding a panhandling sign?
Maybe a sign that says, "Everyone hates me. Please help. God bless."
I'd love to get your suggestions.
And while we're at it, what would a guy in a business suit talking on his cell phone have on his sign?
If I use your idea, and your provide me with your address, I'll send you an autographed picture of my colon. For reals.
Gimme two dollars, or better yet, take the two dollars you were gonna give me and send it to help the effort down in the gulf. Here's a good place to give. God bless.